OK then... let's get you going with a few simple pointers...
1. Get the place and time right
You can pray at any time and in any place, since God is always listening. But if you're going to concentrate and get the most out of it, it's good to pick one regular time when you can be unhurried and undisturbed by other people. That doesn't stop you praying at other times too - and Christians develop the habit of "praying without ceasing", just turning to God for a moment at all sorts of times throughout the day - but it is good to have one fixed meeting with God daily.
So don't do it in the car, on the way to work (you'll be distracted), or just after a heavy meal (you'll fall asleep). Choose carefully and make the most of it.
2. Know what to talk about
Of course, you can talk to God about anything, but it's good to have a basic plan in your mind before you start. Because this is a bit of a one-sided conversation - you're unlikely to hear a booming voice from heaven answering you straight away! God does answer, but often through your thoughts (he'll plant an idea in their which suddenly pops into your mind as if from nowhere) or through other people (sometimes the advice of others can be just what you need, and you know immediately that God has sent that message through your friend!) or through circumstances - when he brings something about that answers your problem in one.
So if you're going to be doing most of the talking, you need a framework for it! Lots of people use this simple one:
(The initial letters spell out "a cat", which might be a good way of remembering it...)
Appreciate Take a few seconds to remember who you're talking to - and the wonder of the fact that he's listening to you. (Christians sometimes read a bit of the Bible - maybe one of the Psalms - to help them take in the amazing Being they're talking to.)
Confess Take time to say sorry for the ways you've gone against God's pattern for living, since the last time you spoke. Thoughts, words and actions all count. It isn't that you have to remember every tiny detail of the smallest mistakes... but if there are things on your conscience, it's good to own up to them, take responsibility and ask for God's forgiveness. If you have grudges against others, or unfinished business with them, let it go before you continue.
Ask Here's where you can tell God absolutely anything you like, and ask him to meet your needs in a million different ways. Once again, you don't need to go through everything, but the big things that are weighing on your mind need to be passed over to him. Ask him for his peace to take over your mind; you don't want to bring your entire heavy bundle of worries into his presence, then stagger out again afterwards still clutching it! Pass it over to him, and let him take the weight.
Of course, a healthy prayer won't just be for yourself. You can pray about other people too, and the world situation, and the village you live in, and people you're related to, and people at work... God's power can reach into situations where you can do absolutely nothing, so let him have the lot.
Thank It's vital to remember what God has already given you; we often just take it for granted, but we all have a lot of blessings to be aware of. And as you start to see God answering your prayers more and more, it's important to thank him for his love and care. Not just because it's polite to say thank you! But when you get into the habit of thankfulness, it has at least two great results. First, you remind yourself constantly that God really is on the case, and doing stuff in your life - and that gives you courage to trust him a bit more, and risk bigger and bolder prayers. Second, as psychologists have been pointing out for the last few years, gratitude is just generally good for your mental health. The more you are conscious of living life gratefully and appreciatively, the more stable, happy and fulfilled you will feel.
3. Know how to start and finish
There's no magic form of words that you have to use. Like some Zoom chats you may have had, God the "host" is already online before you log in! So start out naturally and simply, however you wish - "Dear God" will do if you can't think of anything else - and end that way today. It's traditional to end prayers with the word "Amen", which just means "That's what I want to happen", but that's not vital either. (It is good to use, though, because it helps you log off mentally too.)
If you'd rather use somebody else's words to start with, there are suggestions for sample prayers you could use on our "But I don't know what to say..." page. |
4. Keep going
This doesn't mean "Keep going for several hours"! Prayers aren't necessarily better because they're longer. Say what you have to say, but don't feel you have to spin it out for ages or you aren't being "holy" enough. On some days you'll pray a lot; on others, not too much.
No, what we mean is this: some days you'll feel like doing it, and chatter away happily to your Heavenly Father as time seems to stand still. On other days, it will be a real effort, and you'll feel so discouraged that you'll be tempted to give up. Don't worry. Those bad days are just a sign that there are forces out there that want to stop you praying - spiritual enemies who just want you to carry on ignoring God like so many other people do. They get worried when someone turns back to their Father and starts linking up with him. Persevere. Just keep the regular prayer time going, and you'll find very quickly that God's presence is real again and you're enjoying it once more.
That was the quick start guide - but there's a lot more we can tell you! Where would you like to go next?
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